write me!

i'll be here all week, folks.
at least that long...


65 blugrass ave
ft thomas, ky
41075


love you all

"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"
Hebrews 12:7

Isaiah 43:19

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

I love it when a newness or freshness comes about a well known verse or passage (whether it be to you personally or to the world) in the Word and you have one of those, 'woah, that's really in there?' or a 'that really means that?' moment with the Lord. More than it being really awesome of the Lord to be so wonderfully gracious (and patient with our deep unbelief), it's so revelatory to the point where you feel a shift in yourself. Like, you know it's going to really impact and change you this time; a Romans 12:2 moment (renewal of the mind), if you will. While quickly updating a dear friend back in Tejas about life in Kentuck, i found myself saying that i seriously believed that the Lord was doing a new thing in me. I couldn't help but wonder why i said 'seriously,' as if the Word didn't mean exactly what it said.
Then it became obvious.
If you know me deeply (and now, if you don't), it is hard for me to take the promises of Christ from my head to my heart. out of the theoretical to the actual implementation in practicing. Like many people I know, promises can be dished out but not received. The plague of the Gentile looking for justification through the law (psst: read Galatians).

[Bah, there is so much to write, and i am tempted to write very generally, but in an effort to embrace one of these 'new things' the Lord is doing, I will try leave a crack in the door to my heart that I'm normally found holding shut to avoid any vulnerability. Plus, if you're reading this, i'd probably tell you anyway, just not as concise and put-together. Moving on...]

The newest Lutkenhoff boy came today: James Gideon. He carries peace, and I am already in love with him, though he is a mere day old.
This season, I feel will be the most challenging and most rewarding time of my life yet. I am learning to be intimate and vulnerable with the Lord in matters specifically concerning myself--it's a breeze to counsel and pray with others for others. It's been difficult to face the Lord honestly with the things I want my life to be and when I want it to be that way. This gives patience a whole new meaning. It's been hard to look at myself and see my absolute depravity, wickedness, and sin. and, honestly, the pharisee parts of me are getting ripped/sawed/brutally taken off of me. Of course, this requires to look dirty before others, and not ignoring the dirt on myself. After all, i should be comfortable with admitting this, right? Didn't the Lord take those who believe from our own pools of blood and put a ring in our nose? That's what Ezekiel says, anyway. And I believe it, or at least want to. Praise Jesus that He is a Savior.

Hmmm...this has taken long to write, and my eyes have grown tired. And mostly I want to just cry and pray.

Thanks for listening

This week in the Kentucky Time

Well, it's official: I live in and love Kentucky. Even though it's only my third day here, I foresee the Lord doing a lot of work in me. Such items of business include discipline and structure in a way I have never known.
For those of you that don't know, I'm living with a wonderful family, the Lutkenhoff's, a fun, rambunctious group of 5 and 3/4 ---soon to be 6! I had no idea...literally, NO idea, how much work just being with kids was. A lot of my friends had nannying jobs in Texas, but I never understood the amount of energy was required. Upon reading this, it's your job to thank every mom you ever meet. Also, if you think about it, pray that the Lord would supernaturally charge me! Also, please pray that I will be a blessing to the Lutkenhoff's. Most of the time, I just want to pull them in the same room and just have them pour out wisdom and pray forever, but that hasn't been a reality...yet :).

Okay, well, I just wanted to do a quick update, so i'll leave you with this video of my backyard.

Love you all

at the end of our ropes, what is left but to trust?
gripping tightly, we'll follow it back Home.

For you have only good for those who love you and Oh! how those who know love you.

in wait

Come for me
Quickly
Ransom me
Swiftly
End this race
Often ran in reverse
With these crooked paths
My heart won't straighten

I'm lost, weak, and fallen
found, strengthened, and redeemed

Prepare the way, some say

We will all be changed

You whispered,
'it's not up to you'
And I wept
Not because i wanted to.
I shouted,
And you wept
Not because you had to.
It was never up to me.
It is never up to me.
It will never be up to me.

And now you're offering an exchange
restlessness for Trust
mourning for Dancing
sorrow for Joy

Help me, good Shepherd.

these three abide

building your temples
with sweet patience
unashamed
you chase
unashamed
you weep
astounded with simplicity
amazed by affections
longings increase
remaining unmatched
may we hunger
may we thirst
Blessed are we
to choose
faith
hope
love