It's that one word that I don't really know anything about

I dedicate this post to my sisters, who are always asking, and who were known to read this once.

As I casually browse facebook to pass the minutes, a multitude of thoughts arise...
-Woah. We used to hang-out all the time.
--I wonder when I'll see them again.
---Was I really in Florida that long last summer?
----Un-tag. Un-tag. Un-tag.

But one thought that I can't get off my mind is the unbelief of all the people I tried to confuse myself into liking. A strange thing to blog about, right? After all, opening up thoughts about previous 'crushes' not only seems like a seventh-grade girl thing to do (man, is it just me or do 7th grade girls take hard hits?!?!), but - quite frankly- it's dangerously embarrassing.
Nevertheless, here I am, stalking (for lack of a better word/diversion from the truth) these men and men in working progress.

I suppose it all started when I came to college. ['I mean, 'it all started' seems a little bold, since I obviously crushed before then, but let's get to the good stuff, shall we?]
I began to like a talented musician (turns out I still like musicians. I don't think that part will change anytime soon.) Having the privilege now of looking back, he can only be described as someone like my father. He is orderly. He is timely. He was born older and responsible...he had to be.
I was sort-of led on. Probably not intentionally. Moving on....

Then there were a series of guys that were just way too young for me. Some in age. Some in maturity. I found myself wanting to care for them, which isn't the most biblical of ideas.
Obviously, this placed me under a parent/guardian position, and it turns out you don't want to be the caretaker in your relationship with a guy. It's just not a good idea.
This was the most dangerous path I've ever traveled. My love as a sister and mother that the Lord has given me threw me onto an emotional roller-coaster of confusion. Perversion of love manifested. And only by the Lord's grace have I been able to remain friends with burn after burn. misuse after misuse.
What am I trying to convey in this post? I'm not really sure. I suppose gratitude. The Lord over and over and over and over again has saved me from dating. Has kept me pure. Even when I've been hurt and abandoned only to be left with empty intentions, the Lord has sparred me from (long-lasting) bitterness. I am not afraid to love. I'm not afraid to be open or honest. Do I need to be careful? Heavens, yes! Even the godliest of men are eager to take affirming love (something i'm not a stranger to). But the Lord is eager to give LOVE. This whole time, the Lord has been offering me flawless love. Perfect in the place of imperfect. Selfless in place of selfish. Satisfying instead of self-gratifying. Bah, how blind I've been. How blind we all are. I guess I am encouraging the few (if existent) readers to seek LOVE from the only one trained to give it. The steadfast kind. the everlasting kind. the unchanging. Why did I ever want to settle for anything less?
Psalm 23

Yes and Amen

Sometimes it's time for a blog update. And sometimes the motivation can only come through an avoidance of studying...
The Lord has been bringing truth to my life to replace some lies I've believed for so long...

The Lord is wise.
The Lord is loving.
The Lord is good.
The Lord is glorious.
The Lord is worthy of praise.
The Lord is unfathomable.
The Lord is all-knowing.
The Lord is alive.
The Lord is in me.
The Lord is working, healing, restoring.
The Lord is powerful.
The Lord is PATIENT.
The Lord will not be mocked.


Father, bring your light to shine in the darkness we wrap and bury ourselves in, for:

'even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.' Psalm 139:12

Hallelujah. Yes and Amen.