The Good Shepherd

I am called lover and I am called friend
wishing so earnestly to catch a glimpse

I am called lover and I am called friend
impatiently waiting and mourning my sin

You call me lover and I call you friend
patiently waiting for my return, yet again

So you'll call out, "Lover," and i'll call back, "Friend"
the King and His Kingdom is here; Amen

de·sire /dəˈzī(ə)r/

noun
- a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen

The word desire is often times more defined by my flesh than my spirit.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;

you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God;

I have made the Lord God my refuge,

that I may tell of all your works.

Father, teach me how to rightly desire.

I figured it was about time for another update. If only i had something burning to type about...
I can't speak well enough of the Lutkenhoff's. I am so thankful that the Lord is allowing me to watch them live life and learn to imitate them as they imitate Christ.
I'm learning the value (and fight) for alone time. This is probably the hardest training, as i'm used to having ample time and space at my disposal.
The Lord is taking away my lazy bones--which is so nice! I'm not half as active as these guys, but i know i'll be stronger when i leave them.
If you think to pray (or if you pray) please ask the Lord that I would know the Romans 8 love He has for me. And if you don't know it either, pray for yourself, too. Also, that all jealousy, strife, and other Spirit-killers would be put off from me. The spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.

Sorry that this is all for now. I had no plans on posting and am pretty sure no one reads unless i tell them too.
Oh well.

Love you

write me!

i'll be here all week, folks.
at least that long...


65 blugrass ave
ft thomas, ky
41075


love you all

"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"
Hebrews 12:7

Isaiah 43:19

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

I love it when a newness or freshness comes about a well known verse or passage (whether it be to you personally or to the world) in the Word and you have one of those, 'woah, that's really in there?' or a 'that really means that?' moment with the Lord. More than it being really awesome of the Lord to be so wonderfully gracious (and patient with our deep unbelief), it's so revelatory to the point where you feel a shift in yourself. Like, you know it's going to really impact and change you this time; a Romans 12:2 moment (renewal of the mind), if you will. While quickly updating a dear friend back in Tejas about life in Kentuck, i found myself saying that i seriously believed that the Lord was doing a new thing in me. I couldn't help but wonder why i said 'seriously,' as if the Word didn't mean exactly what it said.
Then it became obvious.
If you know me deeply (and now, if you don't), it is hard for me to take the promises of Christ from my head to my heart. out of the theoretical to the actual implementation in practicing. Like many people I know, promises can be dished out but not received. The plague of the Gentile looking for justification through the law (psst: read Galatians).

[Bah, there is so much to write, and i am tempted to write very generally, but in an effort to embrace one of these 'new things' the Lord is doing, I will try leave a crack in the door to my heart that I'm normally found holding shut to avoid any vulnerability. Plus, if you're reading this, i'd probably tell you anyway, just not as concise and put-together. Moving on...]

The newest Lutkenhoff boy came today: James Gideon. He carries peace, and I am already in love with him, though he is a mere day old.
This season, I feel will be the most challenging and most rewarding time of my life yet. I am learning to be intimate and vulnerable with the Lord in matters specifically concerning myself--it's a breeze to counsel and pray with others for others. It's been difficult to face the Lord honestly with the things I want my life to be and when I want it to be that way. This gives patience a whole new meaning. It's been hard to look at myself and see my absolute depravity, wickedness, and sin. and, honestly, the pharisee parts of me are getting ripped/sawed/brutally taken off of me. Of course, this requires to look dirty before others, and not ignoring the dirt on myself. After all, i should be comfortable with admitting this, right? Didn't the Lord take those who believe from our own pools of blood and put a ring in our nose? That's what Ezekiel says, anyway. And I believe it, or at least want to. Praise Jesus that He is a Savior.

Hmmm...this has taken long to write, and my eyes have grown tired. And mostly I want to just cry and pray.

Thanks for listening

This week in the Kentucky Time

Well, it's official: I live in and love Kentucky. Even though it's only my third day here, I foresee the Lord doing a lot of work in me. Such items of business include discipline and structure in a way I have never known.
For those of you that don't know, I'm living with a wonderful family, the Lutkenhoff's, a fun, rambunctious group of 5 and 3/4 ---soon to be 6! I had no idea...literally, NO idea, how much work just being with kids was. A lot of my friends had nannying jobs in Texas, but I never understood the amount of energy was required. Upon reading this, it's your job to thank every mom you ever meet. Also, if you think about it, pray that the Lord would supernaturally charge me! Also, please pray that I will be a blessing to the Lutkenhoff's. Most of the time, I just want to pull them in the same room and just have them pour out wisdom and pray forever, but that hasn't been a reality...yet :).

Okay, well, I just wanted to do a quick update, so i'll leave you with this video of my backyard.

Love you all

at the end of our ropes, what is left but to trust?
gripping tightly, we'll follow it back Home.

For you have only good for those who love you and Oh! how those who know love you.