For you knew me before I was breathing.
In my deafness, you called.
You loved me before I loved.
You were before me.
You whispered;
and it wasn't harsh at all.
Rain humility, for you are the worthy one.
Rain your words, for they are flawless and healing.
Be my portion.
My chosen portion.
Shield my eyes and close my mouth.
You're the one flooding my dreams.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
April Showers
This past week I asked the Lord for rain.
It's no secret that I love rain...I love that it has so many analogies associated with it.
Now, I'm not a very visual/metaphorical/poetic person, but rain GETS me.
The Lord waters and soaks the earth like He does our spirits. The water from above, quite literally, is life giving. And I dig that.
Yet, in asking the Lord for this physical rain, there was a waiting period. No matter how much I longed for the rain, there was no rushing the breakthrough.
And then it rained.
And it rained, and rained, and rained.
Your will, Jesus. Your timing, Lord.
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27:13-14
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27:13-14
Sunday, February 21, 2010
It is Finished
A lot has happened over the past week. I feel as if I've been spiritually kicked in the face. Which, should be no surprise...the Lord's Kingdom brings conflict to the world - duh...Jesus, the KING, was killed over this matter. The enemy doesn't want light. The enemy doesn't want peace. The enemy certainly doesn't want unity.
Unfortunately, this kick in the face wasn't in the form of who you would think, or at least who I would expect. No, this kick was not from the OUTSIDE but from the INSIDE of the walls of my own home.
So, of course it's easy to read and take comfort in Jesus' words in Luke 6:
“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets."
when it's an outsider you're taking the beating from- someone you don't know. someone who doesn't know you. I imagine I would be praising the Lord after an encounter with a stranger...saying something like, man, Lord, this is just a FRACTION of what the world did to you. People who didn't know you kicked you all the time, except there is this tiny difference between you and me. Like I'm dehydrated with a bloody nose after the fight, and you're hanging on a cross by nails bearing the sins of the world as your enemies lift a sour drink to your lips.
Suddenly, my skirmish and beating would be comforted by Jesus' words to me...'blessed are you...'
But what about persecution from my own brothers?
What verse comforts me when the body persecutes me?
Surely not THIS one, Lord. Don't let it be true. I hate thinking about this verse in relation to my brother. I have even REFUSED to believe it in reguards to my situation.
A sermon I just heard hit the nail on the head when I heard these words:
"My greatest wounds I received in the house of my friends."
Oh, how true these words proved!
I have offended the brothers that have caused them to offend me! But how can we both be right? All fingers are pointing to the Bible and to Christ as the reasoning and logic behind why things should be a certain way. Our defense and defender are the SAME!
So what now, Jesus? Who do you love more? Who's side are YOU going to be on?
It's a shame that we don't see IMMEDIATELY that it is division like this that is breaking Christ's heart.
For the past week, the Lord - hourly, even - has been reminding me of Philippians 2:3:
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Youch. Sometimes we miss this. In fact, I would argue that we miss this quite often...more times than we hit it, anyway...
In the same sermon, there was a garden analogy that went something like this:
A woman decides to plant a garden and goes through a lot of effort and intentionality to do so. She buys and reads books all about it, goes and speaks to the most informed and trusted gardeners that she knows and has seen first-hand the fruits of their labor. She prepares the land, buys all the proper nutrients, etc...
Finally, when all is ready, she plants seeds and waits, yet she is dedicated and determined, constantly tending to her garden. After the right amount of time passes fruits and vegetables of all kinds begin to spring up.
One day, while gathering her fruits to distribute and share, a well-known neighbor passes and exclaims, "What are you doing?"
She answers, puzzled, "What do you mean? I'm gardening, of course!"
"No way," the neighbor says, "this isn't a garden. It looks nothing like one. You've got it all wrong! There are no tomatoes and carrots...just a bunch of rosemary and peppers and fruit. Gross."
The gardener wonders how this could be so. She read the books. She talked to those more experienced. She trusted what she was told...even after she double-checked their advice on her own. SHE PLANTED WHAT SHE WAS GIVEN.
I feel like this is what we do to other people in the body. We look at and judge their gardens, sometimes in our own heads and hearts, and sometimes vocally in disgust. Where the Lord intended variety and beautiful, different fruits and vegetables to be grown and shared in distribution (as people had need), we have crossed and TRAMPLED the seed that has been given to our brother and sister.
We have said, peppers are gross. They aren't for me, I refuse to eat them, and I refuse to be associated with anyone who grows them. All pepper-eaters are bad and wrong to even grow them. Or we have taken squash and - quite literally - have 'squashed' it, leaving the gardener of squash in a miserable state in either sadness, confusion, or bitterness.
Or, perhaps even worse, we have started comparing gardens. Telling ourselves, geez, if only my squash tasted as good. Or, if only I had been given the seed for tomato instead of these awful peppers.' Or even comparing the SIZE of the garden. Oh, how much more they have! Or laughing and mocking or jealously pining after whose garden is the worst or best.
When can we share in YOUR fruits in YOUR garden, Lord? YOU're growing the fruits!
"For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not being merely human? What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building.
1 Corinthians 3:3-9
It's true, Lord. I'm ONLY gardening by your grace. I have different seed because you gave me different seed. I plant or water or do both, but you are why things are growing. The same is true for my brothers and sisters.
We are quick to forget who the real Gardener is, and we lash out in judgment.
I say, they don't have enough, how could they know anything?
They say, her garden is perverted and wrong.
LORD JESUS HELP US.
Help us learn and HELP EACH OTHER tend gardens that are different than our own. I want to help them uproot weeds that try to choke out fruit. I do NOT want to be the weed that does the choking.
WE HAVE TO HAVE YOUR HELP. Without you, Christ, there is judgment. There is fear. There is jealousy and strife.
I'll leave you with this,
the other night I was painting and the Lord had me paint a strip of purple, a strip of yellow, and then another strip of purple. In the middle, yellow strip, it said IS. on the first half of purple I wrote DIV (then there was the yellow strip that said IS) then on the other half of purple, ION.
Then, still in the yellow, above IS, a painted CROSS in red. and under the word IS, the word: Finished.
That's right, if the explanation is clear, you should understand that the Lord was telling me that divISion WAS and IS finished at the Cross.
CHRIST IS UNITY, THEREFORE HIS KINGDOM IS UNIFIED.
Lord, help us ALL.
Unfortunately, this kick in the face wasn't in the form of who you would think, or at least who I would expect. No, this kick was not from the OUTSIDE but from the INSIDE of the walls of my own home.
So, of course it's easy to read and take comfort in Jesus' words in Luke 6:
“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets."
when it's an outsider you're taking the beating from- someone you don't know. someone who doesn't know you. I imagine I would be praising the Lord after an encounter with a stranger...saying something like, man, Lord, this is just a FRACTION of what the world did to you. People who didn't know you kicked you all the time, except there is this tiny difference between you and me. Like I'm dehydrated with a bloody nose after the fight, and you're hanging on a cross by nails bearing the sins of the world as your enemies lift a sour drink to your lips.
Suddenly, my skirmish and beating would be comforted by Jesus' words to me...'blessed are you...'
But what about persecution from my own brothers?
What verse comforts me when the body persecutes me?
Surely not THIS one, Lord. Don't let it be true. I hate thinking about this verse in relation to my brother. I have even REFUSED to believe it in reguards to my situation.
A sermon I just heard hit the nail on the head when I heard these words:
"My greatest wounds I received in the house of my friends."
Oh, how true these words proved!
I have offended the brothers that have caused them to offend me! But how can we both be right? All fingers are pointing to the Bible and to Christ as the reasoning and logic behind why things should be a certain way. Our defense and defender are the SAME!
So what now, Jesus? Who do you love more? Who's side are YOU going to be on?
It's a shame that we don't see IMMEDIATELY that it is division like this that is breaking Christ's heart.
For the past week, the Lord - hourly, even - has been reminding me of Philippians 2:3:
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Youch. Sometimes we miss this. In fact, I would argue that we miss this quite often...more times than we hit it, anyway...
In the same sermon, there was a garden analogy that went something like this:
A woman decides to plant a garden and goes through a lot of effort and intentionality to do so. She buys and reads books all about it, goes and speaks to the most informed and trusted gardeners that she knows and has seen first-hand the fruits of their labor. She prepares the land, buys all the proper nutrients, etc...
Finally, when all is ready, she plants seeds and waits, yet she is dedicated and determined, constantly tending to her garden. After the right amount of time passes fruits and vegetables of all kinds begin to spring up.
One day, while gathering her fruits to distribute and share, a well-known neighbor passes and exclaims, "What are you doing?"
She answers, puzzled, "What do you mean? I'm gardening, of course!"
"No way," the neighbor says, "this isn't a garden. It looks nothing like one. You've got it all wrong! There are no tomatoes and carrots...just a bunch of rosemary and peppers and fruit. Gross."
The gardener wonders how this could be so. She read the books. She talked to those more experienced. She trusted what she was told...even after she double-checked their advice on her own. SHE PLANTED WHAT SHE WAS GIVEN.
I feel like this is what we do to other people in the body. We look at and judge their gardens, sometimes in our own heads and hearts, and sometimes vocally in disgust. Where the Lord intended variety and beautiful, different fruits and vegetables to be grown and shared in distribution (as people had need), we have crossed and TRAMPLED the seed that has been given to our brother and sister.
We have said, peppers are gross. They aren't for me, I refuse to eat them, and I refuse to be associated with anyone who grows them. All pepper-eaters are bad and wrong to even grow them. Or we have taken squash and - quite literally - have 'squashed' it, leaving the gardener of squash in a miserable state in either sadness, confusion, or bitterness.
Or, perhaps even worse, we have started comparing gardens. Telling ourselves, geez, if only my squash tasted as good. Or, if only I had been given the seed for tomato instead of these awful peppers.' Or even comparing the SIZE of the garden. Oh, how much more they have! Or laughing and mocking or jealously pining after whose garden is the worst or best.
When can we share in YOUR fruits in YOUR garden, Lord? YOU're growing the fruits!
"For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not being merely human? What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building.
1 Corinthians 3:3-9
It's true, Lord. I'm ONLY gardening by your grace. I have different seed because you gave me different seed. I plant or water or do both, but you are why things are growing. The same is true for my brothers and sisters.
We are quick to forget who the real Gardener is, and we lash out in judgment.
I say, they don't have enough, how could they know anything?
They say, her garden is perverted and wrong.
LORD JESUS HELP US.
Help us learn and HELP EACH OTHER tend gardens that are different than our own. I want to help them uproot weeds that try to choke out fruit. I do NOT want to be the weed that does the choking.
WE HAVE TO HAVE YOUR HELP. Without you, Christ, there is judgment. There is fear. There is jealousy and strife.
I'll leave you with this,
the other night I was painting and the Lord had me paint a strip of purple, a strip of yellow, and then another strip of purple. In the middle, yellow strip, it said IS. on the first half of purple I wrote DIV (then there was the yellow strip that said IS) then on the other half of purple, ION.
Then, still in the yellow, above IS, a painted CROSS in red. and under the word IS, the word: Finished.
That's right, if the explanation is clear, you should understand that the Lord was telling me that divISion WAS and IS finished at the Cross.
CHRIST IS UNITY, THEREFORE HIS KINGDOM IS UNIFIED.
Lord, help us ALL.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Dreaming, and the Lord's Voice
The Lord is so funny....like, actually hilarious.
Recently, I find myself giggling recounting the Lord's humor with my dear brother, Dalton.
Whether it's meeting someone new at the Hydrant, an awesome coffee shop and Denton favorite, only to end singing hymns with an old couple or having my mind blown as I watch what I tell the Lord is impossible unfold before my eyes, He keeps me laughing.
Yes, there is no doubt that the Lord is a joker, and He has certainly kept my spirit light and joyful.
Yet, among the lightheartedness, my heart and soul YEARN. Which, is no surprise. Isaiah captures it perfectly: "My soul yearns for you in the night; my spirit within me earnestly seeks you (26:9)."
That's right. Even in the NIGHT my soul cries out for Him, the living God. Some mornings, I'll be very aware that I had been praying in my sleep. Of course, the specifics on for what or whom vary depending on how much the Lord lets me remember in the morning, if it's too soon for me to know, speak about, etc.
All of this to really say, that the Lord is blending humor and serious intensity in my life right now.
You see, our hearts will fail us.
And, they do so often.
I'm starting to see that time and time again the person that's truly failing me is: ME.
Which too, should be no surprise (see Isaiah 40:30 and 1 John 3:20):
"Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted."
"For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything."
Isaiah does not prophesy that people MAY grow faint. John does not write IF our heart condemns us.
Heck, these are all the Lord's words. HE knew we would. HE knew our hearts would fail. HE knew I would be wrestling with my heart and with condemnation.
Do we really think it's a secret to our Maker that we struggle? That we fall short? That we feel the way we do?
Because it's not.
If He knows the number of hairs on our heads, if He knows all of our days before we live them, then I suspect He knows how we're feeling RIGHT NOW.
And for me, friends, the Lord has been coming on strong with His voice.
Some of the things the Lord has been saying to me is not so laughable.
Like:
- Misplaced hope is idolatry.
-- I'm not the victim when I'm in my own sin, like I want to make myself out to be.
---He wants my heart MORE than I want to show others His heart.
----Christ makes a better Savior than I do. Surprised? Me neither.
----My hope can NOT be in blanket statements like: 'if only i weren't _____ or if I could just _____, THEN I could be better/satisfied/doing okay. It REALLY is JUST Christ.
IT HAS TO BE.
IN CHRIST ALONE.
I have a feeling those lyrics are about to get a lot more relevant and popular on my playlists.
Lord, teach us to be humble. Bring us revelation. Make us a repentant people.
AND HELP US BE OBEDIENT CHILDREN THAT LISTEN TO YOU.
The last thing I read last night was a random sentence from a note on facebook by my friend's aunt. It's obvious that the Lord used it.
I believe it said some version of: 'we've got to hang on to the hem of His garment.'
While sitting in class today, I started to remember that I had seen something and had wept and cried-out when I saw it. It didn't take long to remember it was not something on TV, but - in fact - a dream I had the night before.
It was Christ walking towards me surrounded by what can only be described as fog. Whether we were in the sky or if they were clouds is irrelevant. As he got closer, he turned to the right, and exposed a small group of people literally clinging to the end of his robe. Garment, if you will.
I remember saying out loud to myself (in the dream): 'that should be me.'
And I want to say it to myself now, because it's true.
And I want you to say it out loud to yourself, because it's true.
Of course I have my own questions, mainly, why was the group so small? and why wasn't it me?
The Lord has so much more for me.
God, help me grasp your garment and never let go.
I'll let go of my pride. I'll let go of my possessions. I'll let go of all that I am to have EVERYTHING that you are.
Oh, and there's even more great news...
the verses keep going:
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
1 John 3:19-24
There's more HOPE than we can dream about.
And there's even MORE love, since of faith, hope, and love, LOVE is the greatest.
Our Dad is amazing.
Recently, I find myself giggling recounting the Lord's humor with my dear brother, Dalton.
Whether it's meeting someone new at the Hydrant, an awesome coffee shop and Denton favorite, only to end singing hymns with an old couple or having my mind blown as I watch what I tell the Lord is impossible unfold before my eyes, He keeps me laughing.
Yes, there is no doubt that the Lord is a joker, and He has certainly kept my spirit light and joyful.
Yet, among the lightheartedness, my heart and soul YEARN. Which, is no surprise. Isaiah captures it perfectly: "My soul yearns for you in the night; my spirit within me earnestly seeks you (26:9)."
That's right. Even in the NIGHT my soul cries out for Him, the living God. Some mornings, I'll be very aware that I had been praying in my sleep. Of course, the specifics on for what or whom vary depending on how much the Lord lets me remember in the morning, if it's too soon for me to know, speak about, etc.
All of this to really say, that the Lord is blending humor and serious intensity in my life right now.
You see, our hearts will fail us.
And, they do so often.
I'm starting to see that time and time again the person that's truly failing me is: ME.
Which too, should be no surprise (see Isaiah 40:30 and 1 John 3:20):
"Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted."
"For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything."
Isaiah does not prophesy that people MAY grow faint. John does not write IF our heart condemns us.
Heck, these are all the Lord's words. HE knew we would. HE knew our hearts would fail. HE knew I would be wrestling with my heart and with condemnation.
Do we really think it's a secret to our Maker that we struggle? That we fall short? That we feel the way we do?
Because it's not.
If He knows the number of hairs on our heads, if He knows all of our days before we live them, then I suspect He knows how we're feeling RIGHT NOW.
And for me, friends, the Lord has been coming on strong with His voice.
Some of the things the Lord has been saying to me is not so laughable.
Like:
- Misplaced hope is idolatry.
-- I'm not the victim when I'm in my own sin, like I want to make myself out to be.
---He wants my heart MORE than I want to show others His heart.
----Christ makes a better Savior than I do. Surprised? Me neither.
----My hope can NOT be in blanket statements like: 'if only i weren't _____ or if I could just _____, THEN I could be better/satisfied/doing okay. It REALLY is JUST Christ.
IT HAS TO BE.
IN CHRIST ALONE.
I have a feeling those lyrics are about to get a lot more relevant and popular on my playlists.
Lord, teach us to be humble. Bring us revelation. Make us a repentant people.
AND HELP US BE OBEDIENT CHILDREN THAT LISTEN TO YOU.
The last thing I read last night was a random sentence from a note on facebook by my friend's aunt. It's obvious that the Lord used it.
I believe it said some version of: 'we've got to hang on to the hem of His garment.'
While sitting in class today, I started to remember that I had seen something and had wept and cried-out when I saw it. It didn't take long to remember it was not something on TV, but - in fact - a dream I had the night before.
It was Christ walking towards me surrounded by what can only be described as fog. Whether we were in the sky or if they were clouds is irrelevant. As he got closer, he turned to the right, and exposed a small group of people literally clinging to the end of his robe. Garment, if you will.
I remember saying out loud to myself (in the dream): 'that should be me.'
And I want to say it to myself now, because it's true.
And I want you to say it out loud to yourself, because it's true.
Of course I have my own questions, mainly, why was the group so small? and why wasn't it me?
The Lord has so much more for me.
God, help me grasp your garment and never let go.
I'll let go of my pride. I'll let go of my possessions. I'll let go of all that I am to have EVERYTHING that you are.
Oh, and there's even more great news...
the verses keep going:
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
1 John 3:19-24
There's more HOPE than we can dream about.
And there's even MORE love, since of faith, hope, and love, LOVE is the greatest.
Our Dad is amazing.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Entitlement
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:7-11
I have been (and AM currently being) disciplined by the Lord that has quickly lead to my repentance. And, might I encourage you to repent, O Church.
We are so blinded by our liberties and our right to entitlement. But, woe to us. Woe to me.
The biggest of these being that my heart is not my own. It's not mine to choose whom to love. It's not mine to withhold. It's not even mine to give away.
Lately, the Lord has had to forcibly break me. For some reason I thought that I could have Jesus PLUS something. Does that make sense?
Like, because I'm going for the Lord, and the Lord knows my heart (cough, DECEITFUL, cough), if I just kept going for and seeking the Lord, He will GIVE me something - to be specific, a husband.
I have said, yes, Lord, you are my first love...and so is this man.
How wrong I've been. My affections for you, O Lord, are not to be split. God, forgive me.
I want to count everything else as loss to know you alone.
You are enough. The only fulfillment. The only promise. The only hope is you, Lord.
I never want to think it is you PLUS something else that will bring my fulfillment.
Rip me from my affections for the world and things in it.
I want no idols.
I want nothing to linger near to you in my weight of affection.
Let nothing and no one come close when scaling my love for you.
So, even though now it seems painful, IF TRAINED by this, it will later yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
I will gladly have my emotions and affections crushed and wasted at your feet for your glory, Father.
Hebrews 12:7-11
I have been (and AM currently being) disciplined by the Lord that has quickly lead to my repentance. And, might I encourage you to repent, O Church.
We are so blinded by our liberties and our right to entitlement. But, woe to us. Woe to me.
The biggest of these being that my heart is not my own. It's not mine to choose whom to love. It's not mine to withhold. It's not even mine to give away.
Lately, the Lord has had to forcibly break me. For some reason I thought that I could have Jesus PLUS something. Does that make sense?
Like, because I'm going for the Lord, and the Lord knows my heart (cough, DECEITFUL, cough), if I just kept going for and seeking the Lord, He will GIVE me something - to be specific, a husband.
I have said, yes, Lord, you are my first love...and so is this man.
How wrong I've been. My affections for you, O Lord, are not to be split. God, forgive me.
I want to count everything else as loss to know you alone.
You are enough. The only fulfillment. The only promise. The only hope is you, Lord.
I never want to think it is you PLUS something else that will bring my fulfillment.
Rip me from my affections for the world and things in it.
I want no idols.
I want nothing to linger near to you in my weight of affection.
Let nothing and no one come close when scaling my love for you.
So, even though now it seems painful, IF TRAINED by this, it will later yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
I will gladly have my emotions and affections crushed and wasted at your feet for your glory, Father.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
His Matchless Ways
Very recently, a friend of mine introduced me to one of the oldest, most amazing hobbies of all time - sewing. Now, mind you, perhaps it shouldn't be referred to as a hobby since people used to have to do things for themselves, such as grow their own food, make their own clothes...never mind. not the point.Nevertheless, we found ourselves with countless needles and an array of colorful threads slipping between the cracks in the leather couch, patching and personalizing things we like and use. As you can see, this is my masterpiece. One patch. One button. And it took me about an hour. Not much, but boy am I proud of it.
So, what's the point?
Well, reader, it took a bit of encouragement for me to do this. You see, I know this patchwork isn't the best. I know it's probably not the best choice of color. And, believe it or not, I know the fabric is frayed. But I did it.
You see, reader, the enemy is out to kill, steal, and destroy. Fear of inadequacy follows us around, and keeps us from even TRYING...for going for...anything.
For me, it's always been in the arts.
I remember telling my Dad, who always wanted to teach me guitar, that I hated it because I was afraid I'd be bad at it.
I quit piano because there was a performance level I placed on myself.
After all, I would never be as good as Chopin...how could I be?
And, well...I'm right. I won't be as good as him. I don't suppose I'll ever be the greatest at guitar, either. And, that's okay. I'm okay with that. I don't even want to be the best.
It's cool to just surrender insecurities to the Lord, and see how He works in and through them.
Just a few nights ago I was painting, and the Lord let me see something really cool through my own hands about the Church.
And then one day I sat down at the piano and worshiped the Lord with only 8 chords, and He allowed me to sing His promises back to Him.
So, brother or sister, I would encourage you to let go of the things that you've decided you're not 'good at' because the truth is, there's nothing good in or about us that isn't from Him, anyway. I encourage you to go for something that you've spoken over yourself as 'just not your thing.' If it's from or of the Lord, it's probably something you should be interested in. Don't let the enemy rob you of joy or of the ability to bring glory to God...because I know this button accomplished both joy and glory.
Thanks, Lord.
Loves.
Isaiah 55:8-9:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
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