One who is so easily affected by the world's standards and obsessed with man's demands. One who loves when it's convenient for her. One who both curses and blesses with her mouth. An emotional roller coaster of confusion. A human analyst. a gossip. a robber. a sinner. a child.
And all I want is to trade it for the truth. To trade it for what I've been promised. To trade it all for perfection.
So I think I will.
IN the world, not OF it.
Fearing God instead of man.
Loving to cover a multitude of sins.
One who watches her tongue and blesses even those who curse her.
One who completes perseverance so that there may be no lack.
Forgiving. Kind. Gentle.
A woman instead of a child.
Lord, help me.
Control is over-rated, anyhow.
Who am I? I am one with my Maker.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Revive us
Lord, you were favorable to your land;
you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
2 You forgave the iniquity of your people;
you covered all their sin. Selah
3 You withdrew all your wrath;
you turned from your hot anger.
you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
2 You forgave the iniquity of your people;
you covered all their sin. Selah
3 You withdrew all your wrath;
you turned from your hot anger.
4 Restore us again, O God of our salvation,
and put away your indignation toward us!
5 Will you be angry with us forever?
Will you prolong your anger to all generations?
6 Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?
7 Show us your steadfast love, O Lord,
and grant us your salvation.
8 Let me hear what God the Lord will speak,
for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints;
but let them not turn back to folly.
9 Surely his salvation is near to those who fear him,
that glory may dwell in our land.
10 Steadfast love and faithfulness meet;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.
11 Faithfulness springs up from the ground,
and righteousness looks down from the sky.
12 Yes, the Lord will give what is good,
and our land will yield its increase.
13 Righteousness will go before him
and make his footsteps a way.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
O won't you burn us in the furnace of Your desires?
He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8
I have so much to learn about humility;
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 2:13
...And even more about mercy;
And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless.
Matthew 12:7
Not to mention fighting the good fight against legalism.
Lord, won't you help me?
Lord, won't you help us?
Teach us how to love.
Teach us how to abandon judgment. to abandon entitlement. to abandon ourselves.
Give us more of you, O King.
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8
I have so much to learn about humility;
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 2:13
...And even more about mercy;
And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless.
Matthew 12:7
Not to mention fighting the good fight against legalism.
Lord, won't you help me?
Lord, won't you help us?
Teach us how to love.
Teach us how to abandon judgment. to abandon entitlement. to abandon ourselves.
Give us more of you, O King.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Campy-Camp
I'm going to a camp in Nebraska to be a counselor for the next week.
Pray for the lost to be saved and for the blind to see.
Revival, friends.
The Lord is alive and returning.
Love you.
Pray for the lost to be saved and for the blind to see.
Revival, friends.
The Lord is alive and returning.
Love you.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It's that one word that I don't really know anything about
I dedicate this post to my sisters, who are always asking, and who were known to read this once.
As I casually browse facebook to pass the minutes, a multitude of thoughts arise...
-Woah. We used to hang-out all the time.
--I wonder when I'll see them again.
---Was I really in Florida that long last summer?
----Un-tag. Un-tag. Un-tag.
But one thought that I can't get off my mind is the unbelief of all the people I tried to confuse myself into liking. A strange thing to blog about, right? After all, opening up thoughts about previous 'crushes' not only seems like a seventh-grade girl thing to do (man, is it just me or do 7th grade girls take hard hits?!?!), but - quite frankly- it's dangerously embarrassing.
Nevertheless, here I am, stalking (for lack of a better word/diversion from the truth) these men and men in working progress.
I suppose it all started when I came to college. ['I mean, 'it all started' seems a little bold, since I obviously crushed before then, but let's get to the good stuff, shall we?]
I began to like a talented musician (turns out I still like musicians. I don't think that part will change anytime soon.) Having the privilege now of looking back, he can only be described as someone like my father. He is orderly. He is timely. He was born older and responsible...he had to be.
I was sort-of led on. Probably not intentionally. Moving on....
Then there were a series of guys that were just way too young for me. Some in age. Some in maturity. I found myself wanting to care for them, which isn't the most biblical of ideas.
Obviously, this placed me under a parent/guardian position, and it turns out you don't want to be the caretaker in your relationship with a guy. It's just not a good idea.
This was the most dangerous path I've ever traveled. My love as a sister and mother that the Lord has given me threw me onto an emotional roller-coaster of confusion. Perversion of love manifested. And only by the Lord's grace have I been able to remain friends with burn after burn. misuse after misuse.
What am I trying to convey in this post? I'm not really sure. I suppose gratitude. The Lord over and over and over and over again has saved me from dating. Has kept me pure. Even when I've been hurt and abandoned only to be left with empty intentions, the Lord has sparred me from (long-lasting) bitterness. I am not afraid to love. I'm not afraid to be open or honest. Do I need to be careful? Heavens, yes! Even the godliest of men are eager to take affirming love (something i'm not a stranger to). But the Lord is eager to give LOVE. This whole time, the Lord has been offering me flawless love. Perfect in the place of imperfect. Selfless in place of selfish. Satisfying instead of self-gratifying. Bah, how blind I've been. How blind we all are. I guess I am encouraging the few (if existent) readers to seek LOVE from the only one trained to give it. The steadfast kind. the everlasting kind. the unchanging. Why did I ever want to settle for anything less?
Psalm 23
As I casually browse facebook to pass the minutes, a multitude of thoughts arise...
-Woah. We used to hang-out all the time.
--I wonder when I'll see them again.
---Was I really in Florida that long last summer?
----Un-tag. Un-tag. Un-tag.
But one thought that I can't get off my mind is the unbelief of all the people I tried to confuse myself into liking. A strange thing to blog about, right? After all, opening up thoughts about previous 'crushes' not only seems like a seventh-grade girl thing to do (man, is it just me or do 7th grade girls take hard hits?!?!), but - quite frankly- it's dangerously embarrassing.
Nevertheless, here I am, stalking (for lack of a better word/diversion from the truth) these men and men in working progress.
I suppose it all started when I came to college. ['I mean, 'it all started' seems a little bold, since I obviously crushed before then, but let's get to the good stuff, shall we?]
I began to like a talented musician (turns out I still like musicians. I don't think that part will change anytime soon.) Having the privilege now of looking back, he can only be described as someone like my father. He is orderly. He is timely. He was born older and responsible...he had to be.
I was sort-of led on. Probably not intentionally. Moving on....
Then there were a series of guys that were just way too young for me. Some in age. Some in maturity. I found myself wanting to care for them, which isn't the most biblical of ideas.
Obviously, this placed me under a parent/guardian position, and it turns out you don't want to be the caretaker in your relationship with a guy. It's just not a good idea.
This was the most dangerous path I've ever traveled. My love as a sister and mother that the Lord has given me threw me onto an emotional roller-coaster of confusion. Perversion of love manifested. And only by the Lord's grace have I been able to remain friends with burn after burn. misuse after misuse.
What am I trying to convey in this post? I'm not really sure. I suppose gratitude. The Lord over and over and over and over again has saved me from dating. Has kept me pure. Even when I've been hurt and abandoned only to be left with empty intentions, the Lord has sparred me from (long-lasting) bitterness. I am not afraid to love. I'm not afraid to be open or honest. Do I need to be careful? Heavens, yes! Even the godliest of men are eager to take affirming love (something i'm not a stranger to). But the Lord is eager to give LOVE. This whole time, the Lord has been offering me flawless love. Perfect in the place of imperfect. Selfless in place of selfish. Satisfying instead of self-gratifying. Bah, how blind I've been. How blind we all are. I guess I am encouraging the few (if existent) readers to seek LOVE from the only one trained to give it. The steadfast kind. the everlasting kind. the unchanging. Why did I ever want to settle for anything less?
Psalm 23
Monday, May 11, 2009
Yes and Amen
Sometimes it's time for a blog update. And sometimes the motivation can only come through an avoidance of studying...
The Lord has been bringing truth to my life to replace some lies I've believed for so long...
The Lord is wise.
The Lord is loving.
The Lord is good.
The Lord is glorious.
The Lord is worthy of praise.
The Lord is unfathomable.
The Lord is all-knowing.
The Lord is alive.
The Lord is in me.
The Lord is working, healing, restoring.
The Lord is powerful.
The Lord is PATIENT.
The Lord will not be mocked.
Father, bring your light to shine in the darkness we wrap and bury ourselves in, for:
'even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.' Psalm 139:12
Hallelujah. Yes and Amen.
The Lord has been bringing truth to my life to replace some lies I've believed for so long...
The Lord is wise.
The Lord is loving.
The Lord is good.
The Lord is glorious.
The Lord is worthy of praise.
The Lord is unfathomable.
The Lord is all-knowing.
The Lord is alive.
The Lord is in me.
The Lord is working, healing, restoring.
The Lord is powerful.
The Lord is PATIENT.
The Lord will not be mocked.
Father, bring your light to shine in the darkness we wrap and bury ourselves in, for:
'even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.' Psalm 139:12
Hallelujah. Yes and Amen.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
It's been awhile...
As I write this, I know I am avoiding something bigger than me. Something that I can't handle. My mind is racing on how much harder it will be if I continue to ignore the state of my soul. I realize it won't be easier to avoid it...I won't even reap the temporary benefits of pretending everything is okay. So, I'll pray. I'll confess that I am weak and can do nothing without the Lord. Will I feel better? Maybe. But it's not really about me. I'm sick of being the one standing in the way of the Lord using me. He CHOSE me. He'll save me. He has before. He will again. How is He so good?
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